Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Mom said you looked used
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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