my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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