it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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