the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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