Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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