i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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