I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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