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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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