Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize