There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize