Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize