Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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