i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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