I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize