I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize