Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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