I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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