I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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