this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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