I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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