My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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