I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
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I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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