Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
try to milk me bitch
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