There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize