we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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