Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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