I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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