Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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