I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize