dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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