mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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