The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize