PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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