I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize