Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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