i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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