Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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