everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize