Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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