I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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