I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize