I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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