You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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