Cold hands, warm shart.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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