I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize