Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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