Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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