wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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