haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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