Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize