Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize